So, I have de-activated my facebook account for awhile. I wrote a status tonight whilst feeling generally mentally unwell. A few beautiful lovely ladies asked me if I were ok and said they were their for me. A few of them I know only wrote things as they wanted to know what was the latest gossip in my life (they were family members, so no offence to any of the other ladies who asked after me)
Anyway, after writing a reply to someone, a panic attack appeared out of no where. I felt like I couldnt breathe. And was gasping for air. As soon as the man asked if I was ok, I fled the room. I literally jumped onto my bed and hid under the blanket. The man followed being really worried and held me while I took big gulps of air through large sobs and shaking all over.
I have experienced these before, but not to that extreme. Well, not that I can remember at this point. I do remember a few weeks back whilst shopping with the 3 year old and her going off with nanna that I experienced something of the sort.
The man goes back to work tomorrow after his 2 days off, and im scared. Scared of having another attack whilst home alone with the 3yr old. And no before you ask, there isnt anyone I could call to come sit with me as they couldnt give a shit about my mental health. Oh sure they promise to answer their phones no matter what time day or night but i have learnt that its all fake help. My calls for help go unanswered as do my txt messages. My own mother has the maturity of a 10 year old, so not much help there. And friends? HAHA! The only real friends I have are a few on fb who actually seem to give shit about someone else. I have no face to face friends here that will come running to me as I did once for them. pfft.
Anyway. The whole point of this post was to say to those few beautiful ladies who do care, iam not ignoring you. I have just de-activated my fb account as i need a break. If that makes any sense?
(ps. If anyone can direct the gorgeous kellie over this way, it would be muchly appreciated, have not yet mastered the art of sending a follow me request! if it is possible?)
So peace out ladies. Im off to the land of nod.
I have experienced these before, but not to that extreme. Well, not that I can remember at this point. I do remember a few weeks back whilst shopping with the 3 year old and her going off with nanna that I experienced something of the sort.
The man goes back to work tomorrow after his 2 days off, and im scared. Scared of having another attack whilst home alone with the 3yr old. And no before you ask, there isnt anyone I could call to come sit with me as they couldnt give a shit about my mental health. Oh sure they promise to answer their phones no matter what time day or night but i have learnt that its all fake help. My calls for help go unanswered as do my txt messages. My own mother has the maturity of a 10 year old, so not much help there. And friends? HAHA! The only real friends I have are a few on fb who actually seem to give shit about someone else. I have no face to face friends here that will come running to me as I did once for them. pfft.
Anyway. The whole point of this post was to say to those few beautiful ladies who do care, iam not ignoring you. I have just de-activated my fb account as i need a break. If that makes any sense?
(ps. If anyone can direct the gorgeous kellie over this way, it would be muchly appreciated, have not yet mastered the art of sending a follow me request! if it is possible?)
So peace out ladies. Im off to the land of nod.
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